Author Archives: Jon
CDC Report Shows Rising Omer Numbers, Institutes Lactaid Mandate For Upcoming Shavuot
Israel To Legalize Late-Term Abortions In Bid To Win Over American Left
Not Again: Teaneck Mom Swears This The Year She Makes Aliyah
TEANECK, NJ — Wiping away tears after an hour of watching the Kotel live stream, Chana Berman, active member of the Frisch PTA, swore that this would be the year she finally moves to Israel. “Sure I said the same thing last year too, but then Jared needed oral surgery and I really wanted toContinue reading “Not Again: Teaneck Mom Swears This The Year She Makes Aliyah”
Student Learning About Camp David Accords Pretty Sure She Has Friend That Went There
Top 5 Israeli Foods We Hope Never Make It To America
1. Pizza Spice Perhaps the issue really lies in the quality of Israeli pizza, but the spice just makes it worse. It tastes like sucking on ten pizza pringles at once, which became less fun after the incident at my 10th birthday party. 2. Israeli Grape Juice It’s just grapes and sugar, how could theyContinue reading “Top 5 Israeli Foods We Hope Never Make It To America”
Husband Material: Sweaty Guy At Frat Party Claims To Be ‘Basically Jewish’
Opinion: My Ketubah Is Valid No Matter What Your Thoughts Are On Despicable Me 3
Local Heretic Eats Pastrami On White Bread
Authorities apprehended the perpetrator after he was caught ordering chicken soup with no matzo ball.
Breaking: New Evidence Suggests Matzah Invented By Ancient Jews Who Didn’t Want To Poop In Desert
THE DESERT — On an archaeological excavation last Thursday, noted biblical and Jewish day school teacher, Dr. Albain Halfstead, reportedly discovered a papyrus scroll that explained the historical context behind the invention of matzah. “Those of us familiar with the Old Testament will know the story of the Jews leaving Egypt in such haste thatContinue reading “Breaking: New Evidence Suggests Matzah Invented By Ancient Jews Who Didn’t Want To Poop In Desert”
theschmear.com 