We’re amid the gluten-free revolution, people. I’m not just talking about cauliflower crust— there are completely gluten-free pizza restaurants out there with Michelin stars—so why is it that the Jews still don’t know how to bake a single decent Passover dessert? I mean, how hard can it be? Swap in some almond flour in yourContinue reading “Opinion: Just Because The Jews Suffered In Egypt Shouldn’t Mean I Have To Suffer Through Your Shitty Passover Dessert”
Tag Archives: holiday
Local Man Breaks Out Crusty, Decade-Old Passover Toothbrush
Tragic: Leftover Poppyseed Hamantaschen Served As Dessert For Third Consecutive Week
Purim And St. Patrick’s Day Fall On Same Day In Win For Alcoholism
NEW YORK, NY — In an exciting twist for alcoholics and enablers alike, St. Patrick’s Day and Purim fall on the same day this year. According to experts, this holiday coincidence is a unique opportunity for those who claim to “only drink on special occasions” to go absolutely apeshit without fear of divine retribution. “We’reContinue reading “Purim And St. Patrick’s Day Fall On Same Day In Win For Alcoholism”
Girlboss: Sources Reveal Esther Was First Woman To Try Intermittent Fasting
Wholesome: Man’s House Vandalized After Giving Out Veggie Straws For Mishloach Manot
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5 Purim Costumes For When Vashti Just Isn’t Slutty Enough
Purim is a time to get dressed up in your favorite costume and drink as much as you can without landing your drunk ass in the hospital. Since it’s basically a second Halloween, you might as well show a lil titty. Here are some slutty costumes to wear this year if Vashti just isn’t cuttingContinue reading “5 Purim Costumes For When Vashti Just Isn’t Slutty Enough”
Pathetic: Local Fourth Grader Can’t Fold Hamantaschen Correctly
HOLLYWOOD, FL — Attempting to impress his older cousins late Sunday afternoon, fourth grader Dovi Berman insisted that he was a skilled hamantaschen folder. Despite his bragging, however, it was soon discovered that his skills left much to be desired. “At first I assumed he was going overboard with the filling,” said Berman’s older cousinContinue reading “Pathetic: Local Fourth Grader Can’t Fold Hamantaschen Correctly”
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