ASHKELON, IL — Following his first week of basic training, new IDF recruit Jacob Moskowitz realized that it was going to be much harder than Camp Moshava’s army day simulation made it out to be. “The army is actually really hard, guys,” said Moskowitz to his completely unsympathetic camp friends, who chose to spend theirContinue reading “Lone Soldier Shocked Israeli Army Significantly Harder Than Camp IDF Day”
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Rabbi Declares It Forbidden To Carry Guilt On Shabbat Without Eruv
OAK PARK, MI — Hoping to encourage a stricter level of Shabbat observance in the community, Rabbi Benjamin Fuchs declared a prohibition last Thursday morning on carrying any form of emotional guilt on Shabbat without a proper Eruv. “I just don’t know how I’m going to get to Shul now,” said Oak Park resident DevorahContinue reading “Rabbi Declares It Forbidden To Carry Guilt On Shabbat Without Eruv”
Very Cool: Vatican Pays Homage To Christ’s Jewish Ancestry, Makes Manischewitz Official Communion Wine
Man Stoned To Death For Plowing Your Mom On Shabbat
Man Leaves YU Seforim Sale With No Marriage Prospects, Only Books
NEW YORK, NY — Admitting that the experience failed to meet his expectations, Shmuley Moscowitz was reportedly disappointed Wednesday evening as he left the Yeshiva University Seforim Sale alone, with only a bag full of books he had no intention of reading. Moscowitz, who frequently skips night Seder to watch YU basketball games, arrived atContinue reading “Man Leaves YU Seforim Sale With No Marriage Prospects, Only Books”
Only Jewish Employee At Kosher Pizzeria Makes Big Bucks Just To Turn On Ovens
ELIZABETH, NJ — Grinning smugly as he turned the oven to 350° Fahrenheit, local teenager Moshe Goldfarb confirmed that he had been hired last week at Jerusalem Pizza in Elizabeth, New Jersey to operate the restaurant’s ovens, thereby circumventing the prohibition of Bishul Akum (cooking by gentiles). “The job really allows me to apply whatContinue reading “Only Jewish Employee At Kosher Pizzeria Makes Big Bucks Just To Turn On Ovens”
NCSY Shabbaton Participant Sitting On Hotel Floor With New Friends Doesn’t Realize Life Downhill From Here
Cheap Boyfriend Claims God Wouldn’t Want Him To Celebrate Valentine’s Day
Opinion: I Can’t Believe The Haredi Guy On My Flight Is Watching Game Of Thrones
What a fool I was to assume my 10:26 P.M. United Airlines flight from Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood Airport to La Guardia would be an ordinary, uneventful journey. I spied his shtreimel from the back of the TSA line and felt a sinking feeling in my gut – somehow I just knew that this Haredi man wouldContinue reading “Opinion: I Can’t Believe The Haredi Guy On My Flight Is Watching Game Of Thrones”
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