Tag Archives: community

Synagogue Makes Brave Decision Not to Allow Female President of Board

RIVERDALE, NY — According to rapidly spreading rumors circulating around the tri-state area, Congregation Beit Yisrael has made the courageous decision not to elect a female board president this year. “The time to act is now, my fellow congregants,” said Roger Feldman, current synagogue board president, in an email to the congregation. “We considered movingContinue reading “Synagogue Makes Brave Decision Not to Allow Female President of Board”

Report: Tzedakah Box At Kosher Restaurant Has Not Been Emptied For Full Decade

CROWN HEIGHTS, NY — Sources confirmed on Monday that the tzedakah box on the counter of BBQ Mo’s Kosher Beefhouse has not been emptied since the restaurant’s inception 10 years ago.  “Oh, that thing?” said BBQ Mo’s manager Avraham Singer. “To be honest, I never really noticed we had that.”  Other employees reported similar indifference.Continue reading “Report: Tzedakah Box At Kosher Restaurant Has Not Been Emptied For Full Decade”

JCC Man Starting to Think 6’10” Muscle-Bound Black Dude Playing Basketball Not Actually Jewish

TENAFLY, NJ — After losing his third straight pickup basketball game at the Bergen County Jewish Community Center by double figures, web developer Micah Barnett found himself wondering if his opponent – a six-foot-ten, 250-lb muscular black man – was indeed Jewish. “Say what you will,” said Barnett, high school color war T-Shirt drenched withContinue reading “JCC Man Starting to Think 6’10” Muscle-Bound Black Dude Playing Basketball Not Actually Jewish”

Heartwarming: Nine Year Old Girl Inspires Community, Donates to Locks For Love

DALLAS, TX — Local hero, nine year old Annie Halpern, wasn’t looking for recognition on Sunday when she donated a nine-inch portion of her hair to the nonprofit charity Locks For Love, which provides hair prosthetics to sick children suffering from hair loss. Recognition, however, is exactly what she received.  Some have called the donation,Continue reading “Heartwarming: Nine Year Old Girl Inspires Community, Donates to Locks For Love”

Overly-passionate Congregation’s Boos Starting to Hurt Megillah Reader’s Feelings

WHITE PLAINS, NY — Reports of Temple Sharith Israel’s annual Megillah reading event becoming progressively more hostile every year have been rocking the White Plains community, and Rabbi Danya Farstein has fallen victim to the brunt of the hostility.  “At first, it was barely noticeable. The booing at the mention of Haman was maybe aContinue reading “Overly-passionate Congregation’s Boos Starting to Hurt Megillah Reader’s Feelings”

SHOCKING: Community Outraged by Rampant Ashkenormativity at Kugelfest

ALLENTOWN, PA — Allentown Jewish Community Center held their 38th Annual Kugelfest this Sunday at a park downtown; the day featured contests of over 75 kugel recipes, as well as strudel bake-offs, cholent eating contests, matzah ball workshops, and even a station where the kids could bob for gefilte fish in a bucket of borscht.Continue reading “SHOCKING: Community Outraged by Rampant Ashkenormativity at Kugelfest”

Zoom Hillel Doesn’t Hit Like it Used To

CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA — Students at the University of Virginia report that Hillel’s Zoom events just aren’t quite doing it for them anymore. Despite the student board’s ongoing attempts at creating engaging activities and services, members of the community feel it just isn’t quite right. “I don’t really feel like I have the time to logContinue reading “Zoom Hillel Doesn’t Hit Like it Used To”