EIN GEDI, ISRAEL — Shattering a historic glass ceiling, 20-year-old Birthright attendee Sarah Shapiro became the first person to drown in the Dead Sea last Thursday morning, baffling authorities and her fellow bus-mates alike. “Considering this is the one body of water that doesn’t require prior swimming experience, I have to say I’m pretty impressed,”Continue reading “Impressive: Birthright Attendee Beats Odds, Drowns In Dead Sea”
Tag Archives: school
As Conservative Movement Dies, USY Hookup Point System Faces Inflation
SILVER SPRING, MD — Following a steep decline in Conservative Jews, the famed “point system” for hookups between members of Conservative youth group USY is now facing gripping inflation rates. “When my older sisters were in USY, they probably had 40, 50 points each,” explained Sami Broder, who comprises her entire chapter board and isContinue reading “As Conservative Movement Dies, USY Hookup Point System Faces Inflation”
Jewish Students Everywhere Thank Whoopi Goldberg For New Reason To Post Infographics
Report: Guy Putting Head Down For Tachanun Clearly Just Playing Wordle
Aggressive AIPAC College Student Secretly Disappointed By Lack Of BDS On Campus
SYRACUSE, NY — Justin Kreischman, a freshman at Syracuse University, recently revealed to reporters that, despite his outwardly normal college life, he spends his nights lying awake, wishing he could have the chance to yell at people about Israel. Attending the American Israel Public Affairs Committee Policy Conference every year of high school inspired KreischmanContinue reading “Aggressive AIPAC College Student Secretly Disappointed By Lack Of BDS On Campus”
Breaking: Jewish Day Schools Just Hiring Strangers At El-Al Arrival Gate As Hebrew Teachers
QUEENS, NY — Following staffing shortages at Ramaz Upper School, the principal, Mr. Joshua Adelman, was seen Monday in John F. Kennedy International Airport Terminal 4 searching for potential Hebrew teachers arriving from an El-Al flight. “We’re looking for anyone that can speak the language, basically,” Adelman told reporters while hiding behind a large fernContinue reading “Breaking: Jewish Day Schools Just Hiring Strangers At El-Al Arrival Gate As Hebrew Teachers”
theschmear.com 