The art of bageling is a delicate and sensitive dance – a skill that helps us bond with fellow Jews even while hiding it from outsiders. For example, calling your mom “ima” aloud when you’re otherwise craftily hiding your identity by having a normal nose or not wearing your Jewish Star necklace. Here are someContinue reading “5 Tips To Bagel Your Professor”
Tag Archives: jewish
6 Activities To Try If Someone Says Being Jewish Can’t Be Your Whole Personality
1. Fly-fishing Nothing says “my Jewish friends wouldn’t understand this” like intentionally standing in cold water, staying quiet for hours, catching something you can’t even eat, and wearing an outfit that makes it hard to use the bathroom. 2. Lacrosse Ever seen a Jew play lacrosse? Exactly. 3. Paint and Sip Class Sipping wine? Jewish!Continue reading “6 Activities To Try If Someone Says Being Jewish Can’t Be Your Whole Personality “
Synagogue Rolling In Cash After Auctioning NFT Of Rare Carlebach Audio
CROWN HEIGHTS, NY — Ahavas Shira Synagogue struck gold last week when they minted a recording of a never-released Shlomo Carlebach work as a non-fungible token (NFT). Within hours, a massive bidding war broke out across the Jewish world, with offers coming in from as far as Monsey. “We’ve been getting into the crypto worldContinue reading “Synagogue Rolling In Cash After Auctioning NFT Of Rare Carlebach Audio”
Embarrassing: Man Taking Talit Into Bathroom Claims Hooks Were Full
BREAKING: Israeli Chief Rabbinate Declares Cats Kosher To Fix Stray Cat Problem
JERUSALEM, IL — A historic shift took place Monday morning as the Chief Rabbinate of Israel officially declared cats as the newest addition to the relatively brief list of kosher animals. The decision comes from years of debate after the concept was initially proposed to curb the rampant feline pest predicament. “These street cats haveContinue reading “BREAKING: Israeli Chief Rabbinate Declares Cats Kosher To Fix Stray Cat Problem”
Rabbi Clearly Having Hard Time Forcing Sports Analogy Into D’var Torah
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Area Kid Singing Adon Olam On Bimah Hoping This Will Be His Big Break
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Eight-year-old Asher Engleman inspired the crowd at Congregation Lev Torah on Saturday when he marched to the bimah and belted Adon Olam with all the stage presence and determination of a future Broadway star. “I just knew it was going to be my big break,” Asher said, after leading the prayer inContinue reading “Area Kid Singing Adon Olam On Bimah Hoping This Will Be His Big Break”
Man On Brink Of Divorce Definitely Sleeping In Sukkah For Religious Reasons
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Man Who Has Never Made Etrog Jam In His Life Swears This The Year He Finally Makes Etrog Jam
OAK PARK, MI — In a press release this week, accountant and local block party host Aryeh Gerber has vowed that this year will finally be the year that he makes jam out of the citrus used as part of the celebration of Sukkot. “This year, I’m really gonna do it,” stated Gerber at hisContinue reading “Man Who Has Never Made Etrog Jam In His Life Swears This The Year He Finally Makes Etrog Jam”
Fashion Emergency: Entire Community Spotted Wearing White After Labor Day
LOS ANGELES, CA — At 8 p.m. on Wednesday, in a bombshell move that sent shockwaves throughout the California fashion scene, hundreds – if not thousands – of families were seen walking through the Pico-Robertson area wearing all white, merely a week and a half after labor day. Fashion critic Angelica Judd rushed to the sceneContinue reading “Fashion Emergency: Entire Community Spotted Wearing White After Labor Day”
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