This Side Of Mechitza A Real Sausage Fest

Everyone knows we all go to synagogue for one reason and one reason only: the chicks. What’s better than average sex that you don’t have to feel guilty about because your partner is definitely Jewish? I banged my way through the Egalitarian synagogue I usually go to and decided to try the Sephardic one downContinue reading “This Side Of Mechitza A Real Sausage Fest”

Elderly Persian Man at Least Four Words Behind Throughout Entirety of Mourner’s Kaddish

BEVERLY HILLS, CA — Mourners praying at Congregation Mogen David reportedly had trouble getting through Kaddish at the end of a Wednesday afternoon Mincha due to the delayed recitation of Haim Ephrampur, a 78-year-old Iranian member of the community.  The Mourner’s Kaddish, a traditional Jewish prayer said for 11 months after the death of aContinue reading “Elderly Persian Man at Least Four Words Behind Throughout Entirety of Mourner’s Kaddish”

Local Non-Jew Opens Sunkist Fruit Gem Before the Bat Mitzvah Kid is Done With Maftir, Disrupts Entire Service

CHARLOTTE, VA — Just as Mikayla Wasserman, age 13, began to chant the maftir portion at her bat mitzvah, she was interrupted by a sound from the far back corner of the sanctuary. At 11:46 on Saturday morning at Congregation Beth Shalom, Nick Thomsen, Mikayla’s piano teacher, was opening a Sunkist fruit gem, which heContinue reading “Local Non-Jew Opens Sunkist Fruit Gem Before the Bat Mitzvah Kid is Done With Maftir, Disrupts Entire Service”